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I Made These So You Don't Have To - "Healthy" Brownies

2/2/2016

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I was recently cleaning out my pantry, and had some leftover canned pumpkin from pumpkin season, and I really didn't want to leave it until Sept. 2016. I also didn't want to make something overtly pumpkin flavored since it's January. I took to Pinterest to find some sneaky ways to use pumpkin and still bake some deliciousness. I found this easy-peasy recipe that only requires a box of brownie mix and some canned pumpkin puree, I loved that it was only two ingredients. It sounded easy, healthy, and I was going to kind of bake.
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Pro-Tip - Never trust a food-blog with the word "skinny" in it. 
When my son came upstairs he asked me when I was going to bake these. They had been in the oven for 30 minutes. He said they tasted likes chocolate-pumpkin-jello. My daughter (ever the optimist) said she loved that she could "bite" the brownies using her lips. They indeed tasted like chocolate. They did have a hint of pumpkin. They were vegan, which means no cholesterol. They tasted like there was no cholesterol. This is a good example of Pinterest gone awry. If you want a brownie, my advice is to eat a proper brownie. If you want to eat brownies, and stay skinny, try not to eat the whole pan. I will say that these would work as diet food, because I had no desire to keep eating them.  They do make a delicious ice cream sandwich however. Oh shoot! That's like saying bacon makes salad better...
Part Deux
I figured since the boxed brownie and pumpkin mix was so easy, and my husband doesn't like chocolate, that I would find a pre-made blondie mix and make those as well  (same day, same mistake). He scoffed. He didn't believe there was such a thing as a blondie. I later learned that he did know what they were, but had grown up calling them "cookie-bars." Sadly, our closest grocery doesn't carry blondie mix. So, I quickly took to Pinterest while at the store. Again I didn't want to buy much in the way of additonal ingredients. I was cleaning out my pantry. I found a gluten-free, vegan, paleo, blondie recipe. I though, "why not?" I may never learn. I should have known when the recipe said that sugar was optional, and that the author loved the natural sweetness of the mashed bananas on their own. I did put in the optional sugar, cause Mama didn't raise no fool.
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These have also been baked for 30 minutes, and still look like I'm on a raw-food diet.
My sweet girl said these were bitter. The spices they have you use are not in balance with the minimal ingredients. If you forget the term "brownie," and "blondie" these might make a good breakfast bar. They have banana, pumpkin, and nut-butter (I used peanut because I'm cheap). In the end they got old and sad, and I gave them to our dogs as treats. I'm all for eating healthy. I love and support my vegan friends. I've went the vegan route for Lent before, and it was long enough for me to say crazy things like, "this vegan cupcake is just as good as a regular cupcake," but I think these two recipes are a case of authors that haven't had "real" food in a very long time. Maybe they just hate food...
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    I can count on one hand the foods I dislike, and I'll typically even eat those. Typically frugal, but I'll pay top dollar for an amazing/unique dining experience. Never passed up a free meal, which has led me to become the #36 ranked eater in Major League Eating. July 4th, 2020 will be my third time competing in the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest at Coney Island. I've been on ESPN. That's right people, I'm an athlete.

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