Have you ever thought up a brilliant idea only to find out you weren't the first? I think we all have experienced this moment. You think you invented the turduckhen, only to find out that it's already been mass produced and for sale in your local grocery freezer. This sad moment happens to me in all aspects of my life, to the point that I have to search the web any time I think I have a great idea, but nothing is sadder when I think I've invented a new food product. You know what? I have yet to have a great idea, but I constantly think that I do, like the time I thought I invented #strawalrus. Here are a few glad, then sad, moments I've had.
There was the time I thought I invented wine with a braille label. Yeah, right!?! As though I thought that the blind weren't savvy enough to create their own easily accessible vino. I'm still ashamed that I thought for a split second that this was my creation.
Shame of shames on the day I thought I invented the Nutella S'more. I should have more faith in the food gods to ever suspect that I could be the origination of this genius treat. Close in line is the peanut butter-samoa sandwich. Again, I was not the first to spread delicious peanut butter between two Girl Scout samoa cookies, but I will say that I can't find a quality image online, and have sadly deleted mine while grieving my loss.
This is my most recent reason to cry over my subtly cool "put-an-egg-on-it" ramen dish. Pictured above are the Tikka Masala chips from Lay's. Not only was this an idea I had, but I submitted it to Lay's in one of their recent online competitions. In fact, I also submitted an idea for Szechuan Chicken chips at the same time. Two of these flavors are part of the new Lay's flavor roll-out. It's almost too wild for coincidence, but I also acknowledge that my palate isn't that unique. It's quite possible that thousands of people requested the same flavors. I am disturbed that I suggested the Tikka Masala chips be kettle cooked, and they are, but I'll get over it. It's probably just another instance of me tapping into the Collective Unconscious. Sometimes, I wish I could unplug.
I can count on one hand the foods I dislike, and I'll typically even eat those. Typically frugal, but I'll pay top dollar for an amazing/unique dining experience. Never passed up a free meal, which has led me to become the #36 ranked eater in Major League Eating. July 4th, 2020 will be my third time competing in the Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest at Coney Island. I've been on ESPN. That's right people, I'm an athlete.